Uncle Steven

Left: Jack Sparow (Johnny deep, of course fake 1 lar!) & Sao Fang (Chao Yun Fat/Uncle Steven)

Uncle Steven just arrived from Penang yesterday, Hurrah!!! He is my father's younger brother and the only one I dare to do crazy stuff with, although he is not as young as he used to be... But still he is some of the most modern middle aged men in my family. Lets see, he plays fantasy football (online), paintball, CS (Yes I bet he can pawn most of you noobs out there) and Badminton. Although he looks obese, but he is actually not. He just 6 months pregnant, that's all...(gosh, I'm going to get sued for this)

OK, moving on... During our tour of Adelaide, he shared some jokes with me about the football culture at the place where he lives (Greater Manchester). He is an avid supporter of Manchester United. He was also a chef in one of George Best's restaurants. He says that George Best usually drinks with him after business times until he is drunk and he had to carry him home. He told me that Alex Ferguson(Manager of Man U.) usually forbids his players to drink during the course of the ongoing football season but you know la... Human ma... People tell you don't do this, they will kuai lan go do it one mar... When they go to clubs, each of them usually have their own body guards. You can't take any pics in the clubs as the footballers don't want any bad news in the front cover of the newspapers right? Here are some of the real life jokes that they played with the Man U. footballers at the club.


Uncle Steven "Butt Warming" the Chair for Sir Alex Ferguson before the start of the match at Old Trafford.

There are 4 clubs near each other at Manchester, Man U. , Wigan, Man City and Bolton (I think). So at the bar, my uncle and his friends saw a group of Man U. Players drinking. One of his friends (a Man City fan) says: Watch this! So he went up to the group of players with a pen and pretended to ask for their autograph. Here is a conversation between them.

Friend: Hey, are you guys famous?
Ryan Giggs: I guess we are...
Friend: Which boy band are you from?
Ryan Giggs: Erm... We're not, we're Man U. footballers...
Friend: Oh, sorry, I don't want your autograph anymore...
Man U. Players: =.="

PWNED!!!

Uncle Steven is a good friend of Nani, he and his group of friends were the ones who welcomed him when he first came to Manchester. He also said that 2 weeks ago, his wife (Aunt Sonnia) went shopping and was waiting for him to pick her up when she saw a really nice car(Bently) parked outside the supermarket. Wayne Rooney walked out while she was standing right in front of him.

Aunt Sonnia: Nice Car~
Wayne Rooney: Thanks!
Aunt Sonnia: Nice day, huh?
Wayne Rooney: Yeah.
And they chatted for a while until my uncle came...
Uncle: Do you know that's Wayne Rooney?
Aunt: Huh?
(Hang Kei for 5 seconds)
Aunt: OMGWTFBBQ!!!???!!!

One of his friends owns a hair saloon in the City of Manchester, he said that Eric Catona will usually come to his hair saloon to have a hair cut. After he left, he would collect the hair and auction it on eBay. Surprisingly, people kill each other for it =.="
Sun Ji Hai (of Manchester City) even more keng wtf... When he wants a hair cut, he usually flies back to China to take one =.=" He says he doesn't trust British hairstylist... WTF RIGHT???

A few years ago back when David Seaman(very famous for his pony tail) was playing as goal keeper for Arsenal, Man U. beat Arsenal 7-1. That time he was sitting behind Arsenal's Goal... Him + people at his row kept on shouting:

SEAMAN, SEAMAN, CUT YOUR HAIR!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE BALL PROPERLY AS IF YOU DON'T CARE!!!

Moral of the story:

• Although they earn shit loads of money, footballers live a hard life.
  
• My uncle si pek kuai lan.
• My english is ownage!
  
• Please organize a guy's day out for bloggers!